Vivere la vita e di amore! La vita è troppo breve per non indulgere con amore e passione. Il mondo è il vostro tela, gli amici e la famiglia sono le tue pitture e la vostra vita è il pennello. Dipingere un quadro felice!

Preoccupied by my intentions and not seeing what I need to. I grow weary of the future, of things I demand and desire. No return for my efforts, my drawn out engagement wears thin like the slow unraveling of a length of rope under tension. Tearing of the fibers the rope becomes weaker, never to support the load it once did. Frayed. My emotions harden and my heart seeps deep into my chest. I turn my head and shield my eyes. My knees bloodied and bruised from kneeling. This thing I punish myself with is it truly my fate? Is there the strength within my withered and writhing body to stand up straight, to move forward and endure the pain. I ask myself "Will the outcome of my endeavors be justified by my reward" when there is no promise of fulfillment. Will I walk slowly into the darkness of humanities cruelest joke. Will I shed these chains that bind me, stretch my limbs and venture out from this darkness. Can I overcome probation and climb to higher ground. Have my prayers fallen upon def ears?

Good intentions misunderstood. A ten foot thick wall that separates us. I hear your words and I try to show you that my interest is sincere. Its not what one says to their significant other at 80 years old but rather the fact that they're there to say it. "Actions speak louder than words" comes to mind. Conversation is important yes and good communication will take you far but without the solidity of being and doing, words have no meaning. I can say a million times what you want to hear. Is that what you want? I am not the manifestation of all those who have wronged you and nor should I be treated as such. I have become frustrated because I can see throw the cracks of this wall and know that there is great value on the other side. I will continue to chisel away at this wall but you have to supply he with the proper tools.

I spent the time waiting. Standing there my knees felt like they were going to buckle. Moving ever so slowly and inching forward. I dont know these people, him in front and her behind me. Moving in unison like the slithering of a serpent. Eventually I reached the end and received my orders. Now I wait again. The doors swing open and like the breaking of a damn and we flow into the room like a surge of wather. Now I wait again. Eventually I hear my name called out. Stand at attention, faceing forward. Before me sits the man with an answer. Dealt my blow, I was surprised to how easy the hand was. Now I feel a wave of calm come over my body. Reborn, all is well in the world.

This morning

As I awakened this morning I felt great. I took a hot shower, shaved, brushed my teeth, threw some clothes on and then looked at the clock. It was early, really early. Twenty minutes till 7:00 and I don't have to leave until ten after. Thirty to spare. I sat outside in the patio garden with the fresh air, watched the sun rise, and pet Maggie my landlords cat. I listened to the roosters do their thing, heard a horse and some sheep in the distance. I closed my eyes for a few minutes and felt a breeze of cool air on my face. I could smell the fragrant flowers with every breath I inhaled. I didn't want to leave. I wished I could have taken a snapshot of the moment, of that feeling. I only wish I could have shared the experience. Half an hour - 30 minutes - 1,800 seconds, regardless how you count it out, the moment unfortunately passed. Tomorrow, I think Ill capture another moment. Ill have a cup of coffee waiting for you if you want to join me....